I’m here to remind the world that everyone needs to tell people when they are on to a good thing in their relationship. Don’t think about the negative people in the world who think you are bragging or don’t want to hear it. Think about the amount of kids now growing up in broken families who have never seen a functional loving relationship. Who are they going to learn from in life if they don’t grow up seeing it first hand in their homes and no ones talking about it.

Now I actually come from a broken home. Not that I see it as broken but my parents divorced when I was about ten years old. My Dad did remarry but choose not to be an active parent in my life, so I didn’t see their relationship. My mum was so wrapped up in her three daughters lives while being a single parent that she never really even dated. But this meant I never saw first hand how a loving relationship between husband and wife should be.

Now in hind sight I believe this lead to me being a little rebellious and stupid in my teenage years when it came to getting male attention. But all that changed when I met my now husband. However our relationship was far from perfect for a long time. No shortage of love or attraction. But some major issues with our communication. Which did result in the odd break up over the years.

Each break out however made us stronger. Forced us to spend more time listening to each others wants and needs and opened our eyes when some of us were being a bit self centred. Now this can be typical of young love but I wonder whether it would’ve been different, had we of had more people with great relationships around us that were willing to talk about the good things in their relationships and give us advice.

Now a lot of this is hindsight in life. Older and wiser of course. But there was one very pivotal moment which cemented this opinion and its now blatantly obvious to me. When I was in my early 20s, a few of my girlfriends and I were having a few drinks, while comparing some notes for our sex lives. I had all good things to say and some questions I didn’t think a lot of it at the time.

In the coming weeks though, one of my friends then completely ended her relationship. I was absolutely shocked when she said it was because of what I said. I couldn’t even remember what I had said, that’s how insignificant it felt to me.

She then went on to tell me, that I never made excuses of headaches to avoid sex. That it was completely acceptable in my relationship if I didn’t feel like it. That I was not guilted into it or punished by my partners bad moods if I wasn’t in the mood. Where her partner at the time treated her horribly. Like it was his right and it was an expectation. Big red flag.

However no one else in her life (religious family) had ever had this conversation, for her to know and it was only happening behind closed doors. No one else knew. Until I waved the green flag for my relationship without even realising.

So if you are reading this, thinking OMG I lie to my husband about ‘headaches’ to avoid being intimate. Don’t. its outdated and we don’t live in that world anymore. It is more than reasonable for you to not be in the mood. If you are not in the mood, then he needs to accept that. Its a product of your environment and that he can then do something about the environment to help.

If you have more green flag examples, please share them by commenting!